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garnnystanThose were ten years alright. For me, the majority of this decade was spent in a depressive haze, but there were moments of growth and progress, if not outright good moments, as well. (tw for depression)
2010 began with my entering highschool, at the beginning of my absolute lowest: confidence at an all-time low, separated from my friends, still partly living with my dad but barely talking. A horrible year for me, filled with reading pokemon fanfiction while being horribly alone and drifting from my friends. I would discover Homestuck and tumblr in 2011 which were both good and bad.
2013, my absolute worst year: dropped out of highschool 3 months before graduation, didn't talk to my dad or my friends, without my mom and sister I probably would have died this year. Learned a lot about queerness and its different aspects and communities, and a lot about anti-racism activism which, while not making me go out on the streets and protest, made me confront racist ideas I'd been carrying my whole life.
2015, still pretty bad, at this point I had spent 2 years doing pretty much nothing. I know now that I was recovering from an intense depressive episode, but at the time I couldn't label it as rest, only as failure.
2016, progress, of a kind. Mostly reading up the grades I lost at the end of highschool. I also got the news that I am a bit autistic, which explains a lot and should've been considered earlier.
2017, still reading up grades, but also joined a sort of support group thing for troubled youth, where we did visits and little outings to different workplaces and such things, as well as forcing anti-social nerds to go outside and meet people every week. It was good and bad for various reasons, but the worst was this old christian politician-type who clearly wanted to do a good thing for the local youth and unemployed, but he was also the worst kind of homophobic-christian, "if-you're-depressed-you-should-just-try-not-to-be", "poor-people-should-stop-being-poor" kind of man. Anyway progress.
2018 and 2019, started studying for real again, started reading arabic and japanese on distance courses. Got a summer job that helped with my confidence, and then finally in fall of 2019, I moved out and became a college girl, studying to become a librarian.
I did not think I would ever come this far. in 2017 I was sure I would die at any moment. But damn. I'm here.
2010 began with my entering highschool, at the beginning of my absolute lowest: confidence at an all-time low, separated from my friends, still partly living with my dad but barely talking. A horrible year for me, filled with reading pokemon fanfiction while being horribly alone and drifting from my friends. I would discover Homestuck and tumblr in 2011 which were both good and bad.
2013, my absolute worst year: dropped out of highschool 3 months before graduation, didn't talk to my dad or my friends, without my mom and sister I probably would have died this year. Learned a lot about queerness and its different aspects and communities, and a lot about anti-racism activism which, while not making me go out on the streets and protest, made me confront racist ideas I'd been carrying my whole life.
2015, still pretty bad, at this point I had spent 2 years doing pretty much nothing. I know now that I was recovering from an intense depressive episode, but at the time I couldn't label it as rest, only as failure.
2016, progress, of a kind. Mostly reading up the grades I lost at the end of highschool. I also got the news that I am a bit autistic, which explains a lot and should've been considered earlier.
2017, still reading up grades, but also joined a sort of support group thing for troubled youth, where we did visits and little outings to different workplaces and such things, as well as forcing anti-social nerds to go outside and meet people every week. It was good and bad for various reasons, but the worst was this old christian politician-type who clearly wanted to do a good thing for the local youth and unemployed, but he was also the worst kind of homophobic-christian, "if-you're-depressed-you-should-just-try-not-to-be", "poor-people-should-stop-being-poor" kind of man. Anyway progress.
2018 and 2019, started studying for real again, started reading arabic and japanese on distance courses. Got a summer job that helped with my confidence, and then finally in fall of 2019, I moved out and became a college girl, studying to become a librarian.
I did not think I would ever come this far. in 2017 I was sure I would die at any moment. But damn. I'm here.
